fasterfood:

why the hell do babies cry after they shit themselves like u got urself into this mess buddy dont make it everyone else’s problem. like have some fuckin responsibility for once

(via sophisticatedsideponytail)

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hawkeytime:

Andrew Shaw answering questions… Like Andrew Shaw

stupidswampwitch:

masooood:

safeidgul:

Why can’t there be a male hooter’s equivalent where male servers are shirtless and highly sexualized for their bodies and looks

Male Strip clubs. You’re thinking of male strip clubs.

No. Not a male strip club. A strip club is a strip club. I want a place called Cahones where waiters wear Speedos and are forced to stuff if they don’t fill out their uniform well enough. I want them to giggle for my tips. I want it to be so normalised and engrained in our culture that women bring their daughters there for lunch (because whaaaaaat the wings are good! Geeze sensitive much?) where they’ll give playful little nudges like, “Wouldn’t mind if you dad had those. Heh heh heh.” that their daughters don’t even understand but will absorb and start to assume is just the normal way grown up women talk about grown up men. I want to playfully ask my waiter if I can have extra nuts on my salad and for him to swat my arm with an Oh, you because he knows if he doesn’t his manager will yell at him. I want other men to pretend to like going there so I think they’re cool. I want to go to Cahones during my lunch break at work and when I come back and tell the other women in the office where I went they chuckle slightly and the men around us suddenly feel self conscious and they don’t know why.

(via llttlemermaid)

lamelohan:

me when i was little: why do i have to eat everything on the plate??

now : um can i have like 3… more plates…

(via sophisticatedsideponytail)

highkeygay:

OHMYGOD

diomedeia:

studies show that the solution to literally every single case of “i swear ive seen that actor before but i absolutely cannot think of where” is that they were on an episode of law & order 5 years ago

(Source: jossarian, via deputybillolson)